Happy Hallmark Holidays

Yesterday was Valentine's Day, a fact that I only just remembered today when I found a small bag on my bedside table and said to myself, "Er...WTF is this?" It was, of course, the card I had gotten for M. And neglected to give to him.

It's one of those "holidays" that I have never cared for or gotten excited over and would probably forget altogether if it weren't for the relentless and endless hearts fluffies displays that are vomited up all over stores just after the New Year. Even A got into the magic this year, pointing out every single heart in every single storefront window as we walked the neighborhood.

All Hail 2010 and 2009, GTFO!

I would like to think that I exercised a little holiday restraint this year and did not regale you with 10,002 (ineffective) Ways to De-Stress Your Holidays or Phe’s Secret Recipes to Make Your Holiday Dinner Perfect. I refrained, mostly, from rubbing my relative lack of holiday stress in your faces (after my breakdown and subsequent attitude adjustment that would be titled, I Don’t Care Anymore, F- It) and only shared what I thought was a personal and hopefully amusing post or two about plans and, yes, the Momentous Day Itself.

But, Dear Reader, it’s not over yet. You absolutely cannot escape…

PHE’s AMAZING 2009 REDUX and FLASH FORWARD TO 2010! Muahahahahaaa…er…ha?

Our Second First Christmas

There are first Christmases with children – the ones where, generally speaking, said child is too young to care about much more than playing with wrapping paper and boxes or, more accurately, eating wrapping paper and boxes…

And then there are First Christmases with children – usually the next Christmas after the very first, when the basics of Santa, Christmas and the notion of presents are starting to really come together and form a vivid picture in the child’s mind.

The very first Christmases are great. It marks a turning point in the family dynamic and, frankly, the only protest received when dressing the baby up in a reindeer onesie, complete with antlered hood, comes from other, more sympathetic adult family members than you.

But the second First Christmas is something I recently learned is to be cherished and laughed at. A lot.

Making Holiday Magic

Christmas has been my favorite holiday for a while now. It's not the gifts or the shopping frenzy. In fact, Christmas shopping makes me want to break out in hives shaped like dollar bills, that's how much I hate doing it. Instead, it's the music, the lights, the warm glow of a Christmas tree at night and the combination of all of these things is enough to make me die happy.

It's also the family. I don't like the chaos that comes with large family holiday gatherings, but I do like being with family, especially as things have wound down and the only lights are from the candles in the window and the Christmas tree...oh...and there's a glass or two or...er...yeah - of wine involved.

This year, it's going to be a quiet holiday. We're not visiting family, nor is family, such as it is, visiting us. Like most Americans, we're also flat broke (I'm not sugar coating it), so there is no shopping frenzy in the near, Christmassy future. Instead, most of the gifts under the tree will be from friends and family and for Little One, with maybe two or three exceptions (at most) from us...wait, no. From Santa.

In spite of that, I think it's going to be more memorable than most. Last year was A's first Christmas, but you could see that it didn't matter to her, as we thought it might not. This year though, her memory is developed. Her language is exploding all over the place and you can see the little concept lights flashing - and staying  - on. She's getting stuff now. She even says, :"Kissma'?" when she hears the music and sees the lights.

So, here's the basic Holiday Plan:

In the next couple of weeks, we'll get a fresh cut tree and one of our best friends will join us again this year to decorate.


Because A loves animals and because she loves one of the hack horses outside Faneuil Hall named Big Charlie in particular, we have booked a carriage ride through the city on the evening before Christmas Eve. Big Charlie actually said "hello" to her by stuffing his face into hers and making her laugh. He's a friendly lad and we thought that spending some quality time with him and his handler would be a fine way to kick off preparations for the arrival of Santa - and the True meaning of the holiday.

On Christmas Eve, we want to spend some time at the Boston Homeless Veteran's Shelter (I have grander ideas than that for the shelter and supporting it, but will save it for another time), then make our way to Christmas Eve mass.

Christmas Day, 3 friends will join us for dinner and warmth and we'll bore them to death with pictures taken that morning, of Little Miss tearing into her presents and finding more interest in the boxes and paper.

I can't tell you how happy the simplicity, lack of travel, and the relative calm pending for this holiday will make me. I'm giddy with the prospect of it! I'll miss my family dearly, but to not travel for a change is sort of novel. Maybe we can even start some family traditions of our own out of this. As it is, the tree decorating with S seems to be catching on...maybe carriage rides will too?

How do you make family tradition? Have you made any? Are you simplifying this year too?

The Obligatory Thanksgiving Post

Another year is coming to a close and frankly, I'll be all too grateful to see the backside of 2009...but until that fateful hour on December 31st, we still have the chaos that has become the American holiday season. To kick it off this year, I noticed that several of our neighbors had no sooner taken down their ridiculous inflatable pumpkins and seizure inducing graveyards (with sound! and lights!!) than they put up...Christmas.

Bloody, bloody Christmas.

Now, I have nothing against Christmas. It's actually my favorite holiday when stripped of it's consumerism. I love sipping a glass of wine in the soft glow of a Christmas tree, listening to the Christmas recordings I grew up with - those of the 1940's and '50's - and wondering if there will be snow for Santa's sleigh this year.

But dammit, it's not yet Thanksgiving and I've been staring out of our office space window each night at Christmas lights all up and down this street. [facepalm]

So, in honor of Thanksgiving, I am listing the things I will be thankful come Thursday, the day after we embark on a 6 hour road trip to see my parents with a 19.5 month old in the back seat of the car, who has developed a new found love for The Adicts, How Sad (but she thinks they're singing "outside", not "how sad" and it is now the..."Owsigh tong, Mama! Owsigh tong!!!") and we will have to hear that song for 6 hours OMG I AM NOT THANKFUL FOR THAT.

Ahem. I forgot myself for a moment there. So, without further ado, My Thankful For List:

• I will be thankful if we manage to make this trip both ways withOUT hitting a blizzard or snow storm in the central valley region on the Thruway.
• I will be thankful if I can convince A that Devo is really where it's at and throw my beloved Adicts discs out the window (yeah, I'm not high speed with teh MP3 thing yet...).
• I will be thankful that A does not scream and try to break free of her car seat for the duration of the ride....

What? Stop snarking already, Snarky McSnarkerson? Oooohh...a serious list? OK. SRS list is SRS. And now for some real thanks...

• I am thankful that I will be able to celebrate another Thanksgiving with a woman who served in WWII and a woman who married a WWII veteran - my great aunt and grandmother. The last of that generation...
• I am thankful that I have such a patient and loving man in my life; a wonderful father and someone who, once they really got to know me, didn't go running the other way. (He actually puts up with me. Amazing...)
• I am thankful for the love and friendship I have known, especially after my separation and subsequent crawling back return home to Boston, back when. My friends didn't laugh, point or say, "I told you so." They fed and sheltered me and gave me the chance to get back on my feet, a new lease on life and welcomed my love home with me.
• I am most thankful that our daughter has survived my parenting for this long and seems to actually be thriving in spite of it.
• I am thankful that I have a family to celebrate and be thankful with and for.

And you?

Halloween - A Night of Warmth and Laughter and A Fuzzy Penguin

Yesterday, around 5 in the afternoon, I sat with A on our bed, fuzzy penguin costume in hand, and, in keeping with the tradition of the holiday, began begging my daughter to let me put it on her. For some reason, this costume had been a source of anxiety for her (except for last weekend when her Godfather had no trouble at all...maybe it's just me?) and I was met with resistance. "Nnnnnoooo," she said scooting away from me and shoving her head under our pillows.

"But sweetheart," I cajoled, "Don't you want to put this on so you can get chocolate?"

Her father sniggered at me but it worked. She peeked out from under the bright yellow and blue pillows strewen across the head of the bed, eyes wide. "Chock-o-lit?" Suddenly, I had a very pliable, eager to dress toddler sitting in my lap. She even...and this floored me...let me put the hood/penguin head up. She is a reknown anti-hoodie, so this was Monumental.

In a last minute flash of genius, I grabbed her big, beanbag Nemo-fish as we headed out the door. After all, penguins eat fish and no penguin would be complete without his or her dinner at hand as they make their way into the world to beg for sweets.

So it was, fish and penguin and cloth pumpkin candy-tote in hand, that we set out on our adventures last night. The weatther was warm but windy, perfectly spooky and simply perfect too. The leaves were blowing all over, crunching underfoot as we made our way to the houses of people we knew.

Our idea for her first ever night of trick or treating was to simply take her to a few homes. After all, chock-o-lit is so rare in her life that she'd only had it maybe once or twice prior and candy in general just isn't something we give her. So, we decided that there was no need to wear her out walking all over our dense, urban neighborhood and certainly no reason to stockpile the candy that we don't normally give her anyway.

But this child was a quick study. Our first stop was, of course, Nonna and Nonno, downstairs. Because Nonna can't resist putting food of all stripes into someone's tummy, she heaped handfuls of candy into the pumpkin that A was holding out (because we told her to hold it out). Her little eyes lit up and a lightbulb appeared over her head. Suddenly, she knew what the pumpkin was all about and she liked it.

She ran to our next door neighbor whom she saw outside, with candy at the ready. "Tick n teet?" she asked nicely..."'nk oo," when they gave her more candy.

And so it went. We stopped at all of the homes we had on our list, A running ahead of us, dragging a very overloaded candy sack behind her...and several we weren't planning on simply because the sweet dispensers were waiting outside and she was onto this game now.

When she was done, I fed her soup and grilled cheese sandwiches and brought her outside with me. It was our turn to dispense treats to the hordes of kids who were cruising the neighborhood. She seemed as happy to give (a little over-zealous in most cases...she tried giving one kid several handfuls of Twizzlers and caramels but, much to that child's disappointment, I stopped her before she wiped us out) as she had been to receive. We stayed out a while, laughing a lot with Nonna, Nonno and Zio, watching her run in circles and place candy in sacks.

I couldn't help but think of my own mother who recently admitted to me that she has no particular love for the holiday. I wished she was with us last night, to at least partake in the laughter - watching a penguin run through the leaves, seeing her reactions to the other kids and their own creativity and feeling warm in the company of loved ones and the unseasonal mantle of the beautiful night.

For myself, I couldn't remember being so happy on a Halloween since I was a kid. I remembered that I was supposed to have been at a conference in Orlando yesterday, through the week. Part of the reason that I canceled was to be here to witness A's First Trick or Treat. It was worth every last moment and I know that once again, I made the right choice when I chose family time over networking.