tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5317019988667819698.post2325425200105238005..comments2023-04-14T09:48:22.774-04:00Comments on Mom on Reserve: Level 1 Prohibitory Monsters - Do You or Don't You?Phehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10504878141299890548noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5317019988667819698.post-15980121994417390562010-05-18T19:49:03.276-04:002010-05-18T19:49:03.276-04:00SKL: We still haven't introduced A to scary fa...SKL: We still haven't introduced A to scary family movies like the Wizard of Oz, though I believe I saw it for the first time around this age as well. Right now, her beliefs in monsters came about from a source as yet undiscovered (play skool is claiming innocence in this matter) - but I'm not too upset about it, nor are we necessarily discouraging belief. <br /><br />How we'll address strangers later on is as yet undiscussed and undecided. We live in a large urban area (as you know) and it may never be an issue. People here tend to ignore one another wholesale. I also wonder how much threat strangers pose these days. The rare occasions where something terrible does happen becomes so very sensationalized that it seems more endemic than it actually is.<br /><br />The sad truth is that the monsters so many children fear the most are their own parents or close relatives - and often, "stranger abduction" news stories turn out to be covers for atrocities the parent(s) themselves have actually committed.Phehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10504878141299890548noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5317019988667819698.post-48424957237238773552010-05-18T19:44:16.975-04:002010-05-18T19:44:16.975-04:00W: I know it wasn't my own parents so much tha...W: I know it wasn't my own parents so much that instilled the fear of Strangers in me so young (according to my mum, I was much the same as your kids at age 2 - 4, where I'd say hi to EVERYONE), but teachers, other parents and an unfortunate overarching understanding of things I read in the news without being able to understand the full complexity of the story.<br /><br />But I know Osterville and I have to say that I probably would have taken A away from that experience explaining that she was a witch who needed a good shove into an oven. : )Phehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10504878141299890548noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5317019988667819698.post-2704336136345805852010-05-18T14:46:10.901-04:002010-05-18T14:46:10.901-04:00Hi, SKL here again. I don't water stuff down ...Hi, SKL here again. I don't water stuff down much for my kids. We haven't started reading the original Grimm translations yet, but it won't be long. I know that their preschool also tells them "scary" fairy tales. We first watched the Wizard of Oz right around their 2nd birthdays, and gradually introduced other family movies with scary / painful parts, most recently Jesus Christ Superstar (they are 3). I do watch with them so that we can talk about things that are over their heads. They know that if they get in the path of a moving car they could be crushed and severely hurt or killed. And they know they shouldn't go out alone after dusk because the coyotes and raccoons could attack them. So they are exposed to both the real scary stuff and the fake scary stuff. They don't seem particularly messed up.<br /><br />About strangers, I have not taught them to be afraid. They are just getting to the point where I can leave them at a distance but still within my view. It's time to start teaching them those street-smart basics, and I plan to be very specific - they should not be afraid of people, but beware of certain actions. There are some things they must never do but I won't say it's because someone is going to rape them or whatever. I have not yet formulated the message I will use. Probably that, e.g., if they get in a stranger's car without my knowledge, they might be taken away and I might never see them again. Then again, my father had a terrific story passed down from his dad called Dr. Stockingtoe, which gave lots of graphic reasons why we should not go off with strangers or take candy/gifts, etc.<br /><br />My kids are in a couple of programs at school that touch on safety (Stretch & Grow) and self-defense (karate with emphasis on how to get away from attacking strangers). I have observed some of the message and it seems OK. My kids are shy around strangers but I don't think they see them as bogeymen.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5317019988667819698.post-13311075397989013022010-05-17T23:18:40.522-04:002010-05-17T23:18:40.522-04:00Hey! I get this one with amazing clarity. S read...Hey! I get this one with amazing clarity. S reads the real Brothers Grimm also, thank you very much. I always remember both S and N saying hi to every person they met, often from the seat in a grocery cart. We were in a garden store in Osterville, MA (not a particularly seedy part of the world---whoa, good pun without intention) and they were perhaps 2 and 4 and they both chimed a "HI!" to a women looking at petunias. She snapped at me that they should be taught not to speak to strangers. I was a little dumbfounded. Why not? They are 2 and 4...not yet wandering the woods by themselves or driving or even walking to school alone. I or any other adult watching them was not ever going to leave them alone in public. I was supposed to make them terrified at 2 and 4? Nope. 2 and 4 is for teaching about holding hands, always, as we cross the street, being afraid of cars or bodies of water...that's about the extent of it at 2 and 4. Now, it matters...at 13 and 15 but it's possible to talk in more abstract ways and have them understand. They will still do dumb things, just as we all did, but we talk and they listen. Perhaps, because I didn't frighten the heck out of them when they were 2 and 4. XOXOX WAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com